The Surgeon General says toxic workplaces are a top 5 health crisis. In fact, 87% of employees say they’re suffocating in toxic work environments. Almost all of them — 79% — reported work-induced mental illness.
Google searches on “Toxic Workplaces” have skyrocketed, so much so that we've coined “toxic aware” as a new term. It means you spot the red flags, demand better, and take action.
And guess who gets the blame? Yup, The Boss. You chose the leadership role; the paycheck deal with it.
So, how do you spot a toxic boss? Well, they don't listen to you for a start, then they micromanage, and bark orders, you can't voice concerns, and their expectations are equivalent to machine-like performance built with German engineering. Whew!
That seems pretty simple, but can you do anything about it? The most common suggestions are:
1) Give them feedback
2) Understand their journey (but don’t excuse them)
3) If all else fails, GTFO!
In other words, don’t be the martyr; if the boss won’t change, staff turnover and lost revenue is the ultimate way to ram the point home.
I prefer trying the first two: stay in the saddle and speak your heart and mind. There's growth for you and your leader. Empathize, but hold your ground. We’ve chosen to be in it, there is something to be transformed for both.
Self Determination
We all wish for that utopian office where everyone’s as self-motivated as a dog chasing a tennis ball. And sure, we can’t pin the blame solely on the boss, although it’s tempting. Edward Deci, who published Self-Determination Theory, says external carrots only motivate temporarily. Still, the holy grail is to create environments where people can tap their internal motives. The difference is as radical as nuclear energy vs. coal.
OK, you say, how does that look in practice? Environments that optimize for internal motivations have autonomy, relatedness and of course competence. You’ve got a motivated team. So hire for a skillset, but you have to cut the leash if you want the greyhound to run.
But the bigger point is, why do toxic workplaces even happen? After all, it’s like choosing to swim in a polluted lake. Something has to be a little wonky in our communal belief systems that needs to be exposed to the light of awareness in how we operate.
Stay tuned over the next few Saturdays; we’ll expose the inner workings of some of these, inner workings. Meanwhile, brew some coffee because we’re about to stir the pot.
Are you on a Hero's Journey?
Have you ever found yourself slaying dragons one moment and wrestling inner demons the next? That’s not Hollywood fiction; it’s the essence of our psychology, something Joseph Campbell exposed in his work on the Hero’s Journey. Check it out; it’s worth the read. Better yet, here’s six episodes of binge-worthy, life-altering content.
Campbell unearthed something that lives within us all: studying Carl Jung’s archetypes, like the Hero and the Trickster, a quest for creating a Hero’s story. These are not fictional characters; they’re embedded in our psychological makeup, often subconsciously steering our desire for self-importance.
There are many great things about embracing a hero’s journey, but let’s explore the other side of the coin. Let’s look at the “Hero’s Journey” in dark mode because everything that casts light creates a shadow.
The end goal isn’t just vanquishing external enemies. As Campbell argued, it’s about transformation, which includes grappling with our darker selves. Ignore these shadow traits, and you’ll be on a journey alright—just one that spirals into psychological toxicity.
“I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” – Abraham Lincoln
What’s in the Hero’s Shadow?
When leaders start believing they’ve really got superpowers, that they know best, toxicity begins to brew. Of course employees are going to be yes-people and placate: they aren’t just trying to get on the right side; they’re ego-pumping to stay away from the sword. Suddenly, the hero thinks they’ve got the Midas touch, or worse, Jedi mind tricks.
The real kicker? The sword is sharpened by claiming the company’s “mission” is what they serve, but in reality it’s their own personal invisibility cloak. I turns out that elevating yourself onto a moral throne deflects oneself from the deeper vulnerabilities of life. But the kingdom is about as stable as a house of cards.
It can get worse, because these behaviors often do more damage than good instilling fear an that no one os capable other than the leaders. In other words they create the drama that only they can solve. The drama is created unconsciously, but the solution is another exaltation of the leader's superpowers. It’s time for a reality check, where power rules, love vacates. Cutting through the cords of empathy separate increase isolationism at the cost of unity.
When you start believing all the flattering things people say about you, (or that no one else works up to your standards), it’s time to pause. Pull out that pocket mirror Narcissus loaned you, and you won’t see a caped crusader, but a vampire sucking the lifeblood of the very thing that gives a company its pulse—collaboration and collective ingenuity.
And it’s not just leaders who have to deal with the darker aspects of the Hero. Haven’t we all, at some point, created similar situations with co-workers or in our closest relationships, particularly with our children? All in an attempt to create our own version of the Hero’s Journey. Everyone has a secret desire to be swooped and saved. You have to save yourself first.
“It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.” — Joseph Campbell
So, ready for the plot twist? The first step in this lifelong adventure is embracing the darker facets of your character because the Hero’s Journey actually starts when you peel back the layers of your inner superhero costume. By owning these shadow aspects, you’re claiming your humanity, inner gold, and what you want most from your employees - Owning responsibility for yourself. None of which needs to be appointed by title, and you’ll become a more authentic, resilient person who fully embodies your Journey.
So grab your inner mirror. It’s time to get to know the Hero within you… warts and all!